Where did I go?

So I have returned!  I know, I know it's been more than a year since my last post, this hiatus turned out to be more like a permanent disappearance hahah.  So sorry! :( Well pretty sure no one even comes here anymore, but just in case, if you still do, nice to still see you around :)

Okay so I basically started this blog as a means of honestly expressing how I feel, writing about the things and people I love, or just random crap that comes my way.  However, I don't know when this started but I began stressing out over what I post, which is actually pretty funny because you see, I try to post what I really want to post but then I feel like it is not something people would want to read about, and then I take it down. Sooner or later, I no longer blog, even if I do it's all drafts.

So what was I up to? Well, I graduated A-levels with pretty amazing results which makes me really really happy cause I totally did NOT expect this (miracles do happen HAHA) and now I am just waiting for placements in universities.  While on a break from blogging, I grew and learned a lot as a person. Obviously, coming back, I read through some of my old posts just to get an idea of how I used to do it, and I can't stop myself from laughing at the initial few posts I uploaded. I wanted to remove those, but then, maybe not - because it reminds me of the person I used to be. The happy-go-lucky, the one who gets all hyper for all the wrong reasons.  I miss that girl.

Hm, I wouldn't say I changed a lot, but my perspective on certain things definitely changed (who knew one year could give you this much impact on life) but now, I totally understand why people say, 'that event I attended was an eye-opener'.  I feel things differently now, I learned to let go of things or incidents or even people that don't really matter, that some people are present in certain chapters of your life so you could learn from them. Lessons. E.g.- No matter how much you despise someone, remember - they are there so you could learn and develop as a human being, to be stronger or more patient or just not take the small stuff so seriously.  Personally, I feel all these little things we get from other people, all these lessons or memories, are really what we should cherish because these are the things that molded us into becoming who we are NOW and who we are going to be in the future.

With all that being said, I would like to now start this diary again, to pen in my daily/weekly two cents, inspirations and just random things I want to say.  Honestly, I am anticipating to share this journey with you (but who am I kidding, hm well maybe just the diary cause no one actually reads this... anyway).  so now, let's embark on this chapter of more self-exploring and I can't wait to join and participate in a lot more things to stretch my limits and step out of the comfort zone that I have been enclosing myself in.  Here's to more adventures and silliness!

xoxo

"You won't be able to do it"

"At your age, you won't be able to do it."

Upon hearing that statement, I was shocked. Baffled. Wait a minute, someone who is fourteen could be an adult. An adult is someone who thinks like an adult and perceive themselves as an adult. The 14-year-old might have more experiences than an adult.  Experience comes with memories and events that took place, definitely not age. You could be a 40-year-old and laze around all day at home, eating chips on the couch, and have less experience than a 20-year-old.

At that moment, I was shocked and it really stung right on point. However, there were some kind souls who stood up for me, stopping her from elaborating. If I said I was not insulted, I would be lying but I did not take it too much to the heart. I respected her opinion. Talking back isn't going to be a solution, it would not change her mind. So what is the next best thing to do?

"I had to prove myself through actions!"

So, I took in those words as motivation and it definitely spurred me to greater heights, to do my very very best.  I placed my whole heart into doing the best I can.  I practiced the whole presentation both in my head and aloud just in case I blanked out.

Those words - It served as a driving force, which kept me going.  Many people were really supportive, and they gave me every reason to be fantastic in doing what I do, because they had faith in me. And for that, I am honestly more than thankful.

So how did the presentation go?

It went really smoothly, just how I wanted it to be, of course this would be impossible if my course mates were not cooperative. Oh, and I am really grateful for all the positive feedback I had, it was really invaluable. Two of my friends from the same team stood up for me at the end of the presentation too :') (no, it was not 100% perfect, it still had its flaws, but what is perfection without imperfections)

"Your presentation was really good! Is this the first time you did it? Wow, you are making me stressed out for mine now"

"She's a natural. Please consider training as a career. If you train, I will go to your training"

"I could see that she did not falter at all."

"Looking at your background of being a 19 year old, I must say I am really impressed!"

"One word - Awesome! Now don't ever look down on the younger generations!"

All these thoughts, words and actions meant so so much to me.  It made me feel really good and I was seriously emotionally touched. I never imagined myself being able to fit in with all these people from all walks of life, be it doctors, directors - but they were all simply amazing.

This whole episode is something I really cherish and want to hold on to for the rest of my earthly life. It was not easy to look past the anger and frustration, but I did it, I am actually really happy and grateful that comment was put out - because a large part of my success was basically driven from that statement. So if you are facing the same situation I faced, believe that you CAN too, put in your best effort and you will turn out to be AMAZING! :)

The Avengers
Don't have a picture of the complete Train the Trainer course yet, but for now this will do :)

Short Update: Apologies

Hi guys!

I know I have been missing for quite sometime due to certain reasons ugh. I am deeply sorry for abandoning the blog but I am finally BACK! So what have I been up to lately? Let's roll back to the month of March!

Hmm March:- I remember getting panicky over my SPM results; worrying day and night, losing my appetite. On 20th March 2014, I finally got the long awaited results. Shall blog about that soon in another update.

Currently, I am back for two weeks of sem break and enjoying quality time at home yo! :) Been a while since I am able to eat home cooked food yums. Shall do another update sometime this week! Stay around!

XOXO

Happy Eighteenth Darling Kamen! ❤

Hello! This post is specially dedicated to you! Are you feeling special? ;) Heheh.

Little Kamen and Little Joyi. ( I look like some aunty! But its alright you are the star today ;)

As the title suggested, I am going to wish you happy birthday LOL do you want this to be a long essay or a short simple wish? Tell you what. I will do both! :P Okay so here goes the long one.

Do you know how much I miss singing with you in class? Do you know how much I miss crapping with you?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I MISS YOUUUUU? I guess you don't? Cause i don't feel your love here! *inserts angry emoji!* (Calms down)

Hugging me like I am yours? LOL 

Yes, its going to be some time i guess before I can next see you? Anyway, here goes the annual mainstream thing, but please remember me? I know you have a lot of cool friends in college now but don't forget your lame friend here alright! All the best in college la, and i know you are eighteen already, ....sounds old to me! HAHA legal already, proud right? (shoots evil look at you) Don't do bad things ah, if not i tell your mummy. And tell me if anything special happens okay! The minute after it happened heheh. (P.S. It is Valentine's Day next week!)

We even travelled through time, and found out that I am Cleopatra and you were the one who poisoned me with a snake...and that's probably how long our friendship lasted ( a few millenniums?)....

You've been a great friend to me and now sorry, but I'm greedy and selfish so no I'm never going to be willing to share you with anyone else in the whole wide world! You were always there when I needed someone to just let things out. Thanks so much. ❤ I know I've always been the bad friend cause you do so much more for me than I could ever do for you. Sorry for everything I ever did that hurt you in any way possible; be it verbal or physical (including the badminton incidents HAHAH; ps lets keep that as a secret alright!). By the way, I made myself sound like an abuser for you hahaha. 

I really love this photo of us! We look so happy here :) I really miss you guys a lot!

Stay awesome (you can never be as awesome as me though)!  Don't be too sad about it heheh cause you are always Kamen so stay Kamen okay! Don't go be Joyi (no matter how cool I am yo!) LOL. Anyway I love you tons! ❤ (sends you all my kisses) Keep in touch alright! ❤

Here's the short one ;)

Sang yat fai lok! Sen re kuai le! Selamat Hari Jadi! Happy Birthday! ❤

(P.S. I apologise for being so syok sendiri and perasan this whole blog post but you know how I really feel about you right? ;)

XOXO

Homesick?

Yo guys. Whats up?  How's life?  Life is a pretty rocky one for me right now. College isn't as fun and easygoing as I expected. Once I am there, I miss my family and high school friends so so much! :( Its not like I don't meet anyone here or I am being a loner, but things are different. We have to undergo the whole introductory stage again; unlike in high school where you already know practically most of the people there! It is all about being able to connect to others and step out of our comfort zones to meet new people.

Another thing, college isn't all fun. It is mostly about getting good grades and making it through exams with flying colors wth. It is pretty stressful especially if you want to make it to the university of your choice. Sigh I don't even know what I wanna pursue and sometimes I feel pretty dumb :/ Why can't I decide?

Next! Food is another problem. I have to find food ALONE at night; which I am still getting used to.  Basically the place is swarmed with food stores but my mobility is limited.  I just don't feel safe or secure to walk all the way there for food and back; cause I heard stories that the area is not safe... plus i miss home cooked food... :c

Plus side! I met some friends at college and they are pretty cool people :) However, my every days are so packed with classes; not like I have anything to do after lectures... I hope I am not the only one feeling like this? Or am I? Aiks. Anyway, I am back for the weekend yay! :) I really dread going back to college again... Gonna ciao and spend time with le family. See ya. :)

Happy Thaipusam to all Indian readers :) All the best to readers who are going through feelings like myself! We are all in this together! :)

XOXO

New beginnings ❤

I am well aware that as a new year begins, there will be new beginnings for every single person out there. As for me, college is starting soonnnn! I am really reluctant to go because I want my holidays! :( However, I know that it is also time for me to be independent and learn to take care of myself.  It is difficult to be away from the family and home with no car... So, for people like me, I feel you! Today's post is all about preparations for college!

1. Keep a positive mindset

- It is important for us to have this mindset that WE are actually going into a another stage of life and it is going to be fantastic! It is going to be awesome. Doesn't that actually excite you? Well, it makes me happier and gets me going. I don't really have that, 'ugh...can i not go to college kind of feeling' anymore! :)

2. Do not procrastinate and start packing!

- For people like me, who are moving away from home, I believe it is time for us to actually let the thought of going to college/university sink in. It is time to make a checklist of everything we need and start packing! Do not leave things to the last minute! Below I have included a thorough checklist for forgetful people like myself :)

College Checklist:
Just take those items you think you need! You don't want to overpack and realize that you lack space in your room later! :o

Dorm:
Bed-related:
(   ) Bed sheets
(   ) Blankets
(   ) Comforter
(   ) Mattress Pad
(   ) Pillows
(   ) Sleeping Bag (I don't think this is necessary unless for camp purposes/ you want to sneak somebody in for a sleepover)

IT-related:
(   ) Laptop/ Desktop
(   ) Laptop charger
(   ) Cables
(   ) Keyboard
(   ) Mouse
(   ) Printer
(   ) Extra printer ink
(   ) Printing paper
(   ) USB Drive
(   ) Headphones

(   ) Multi plug sockets? 

Desk:
(   ) Calendar (I personally prefer the standing kinds that you can place on your desk :)

(   ) Study lamp

(   ) Folders/ Files

(   ) Stationery ( Glue, Scissors, Paper clips, Pens/Pencils, Post-its, Rubber bands, ruler, Stapler, Staples, Puncher, Erasers, Tape, Highlighters etc.)

(   ) Waste basket

Room:

(   ) An alarm clock 

(   ) Bulletin board

(   ) Photo frames

(   ) Decorative items (Flower pots, plush toys, posters - whatever items that can make your dorm look as comfy as possible!)

Bathroom:

(   ) Bath towels

(   ) Curling iron/ Hair straightener

(   ) Hair dryer

(   ) Shower cap

(   ) Acne cream

(   ) Antibiotic cream

(   ) First aid kit

(   ) Contact lens + Solution

(   ) Panadols

(   ) Band aids 

(   ) Vitamins

(   ) Cosmetic (Basics: Foundation, powder, eyebrow pencil, eyeliner, eyeshadow pallete, lipgloss, lipstick, blush, brushes)

(   ) Cotton balls

(   ) Dental floss

(   ) Deodorant

(   ) Wet wipes

(   ) Eye drops

(   ) Comb

(   ) Shampoo

(   ) Conditioner

(   ) Body wash

(   ) Toothbrush

(   ) Toothpaste

(   ) Hair spray/gel

(   ) Lotion/ Sunscreen (the reason why i put them together is because there are a lot of products on the shelf that acts as both!)

(   ) Mirror (if not provided. if provided for what you bring, later break dy 7 years of bad luck ok)

(   ) Mouthwash

(   ) Nail clipper

(   ) Q-tips

(   ) Razors

(   ) Shaving cream

(   ) Toilet papers! (you don't want to be using other 'types of paper' to wipe....)

(   ) Tweezers

(   ) Girly stuff (sanitary pads etc)

Kitchen Checklist: 

Food:

(   ) Cereal

(   ) Granola Bars

(   ) Juice

(   ) Peanut butter/ Nutella/ Jam

(   ) Condiments

(   ) Soda

(   ) Mineral water

(   ) Instant noodles (Maggi etc)

(   ) Other snacks 

I personally think that the food you bring to college must be sufficient for a few weeks so that you can adapt to the surroundings first without the fear of having no food to eat! :o Besides, it is good for late mornings ;)

Supplies and utensils: (ALERT: This is for those dorms that allows you to cook! I know some people ban students from cooking so check with your accommodation management beforehand)

(   ) Can/Bottle opener

(   ) Cups

(   ) Plates

(   ) Bowls

(   ) Cutlery

(   ) Chopsticks

(   ) Dish detergent

(   ) Dish towels

(   ) Kitchen paper
(   ) Knife

(   ) Others

Classroom Checklist:

(   ) Backpack

(   ) Pencil case

(   ) Calculator

(   ) Notebook

(   ) Textbooks! (why go to class when you've no books? prepare your college textbooks as soon as you know what you need! lol)

Clothing checklist:

(   ) Belts

(   ) Dresses

(   ) Blouses/Shirts

(   ) Flip flops

(   ) Gloves (for non-tropical countries)

(   ) Cap

(   ) Jackets/ Pullovers/ Sweaters

(   ) Jeans/ Pants

(   ) Accessories

(   ) Pyjamas

(   ) Shorts

(   ) Purse/ Wallet

(   ) Shoes (flats, heels, sneakers, sports shoes)

(   ) Socks

(   ) Swimsuit 

(   ) Inner wear

(   ) Watch

(   ) Workout clothes

Laundry supplies:

(   ) Clothes hanger

(   ) Fabric softener

(   ) Laundry detergent

(   ) Laundry bag

(   ) Iron

(   ) Ironing board

(   ) Stain remover

Miscellaneous checklist:

(   ) Debit card (this is important for shopaholics like myself - a word of advice: try not to overspend in college because it's our parents money!)

(   ) Bank info

(   ) Driving license

(   ) ID card/ MYkad

(   ) Student ID

(   ) Batteries

(   ) Flashlight

(   ) Musical instruments

(   ) Board games 

(   ) Duct tape

(   ) Safety pins

(   ) Umbrella 

(   ) Water bottle

(   ) Sewing kit

(   ) Hand sanitizer
(   ) A mat for your wet feet
(   ) Towel rack

(   ) Storage box

Phewwwww! We are finally done with that long lonnggg list! Packing can be a really daunting job but I have highlighted those really important things you should bring! I think I covered most of the stuff we should bring... if not please do leave it in the comments below :) 

3. Last, but not least, spend your remaining time with your family and friends!

- I am already starting to miss my family even though I haven't stepped out of the house. :( I know I am definitely going to be homesick during my college days but hey! we can always call/FaceTime/Skype with our families so cheer up! And remember, I am always feeling the same way as you, college buddies :) We are on the same boat :)

FYI, I am enrolled in Taylor's College Subang :) So, if by any chance, you are in the same college as I am, do say hi! All the best to you guys out there! And let's make lots and lots of new friends and make the best out of college life! You know what they say, "college is the time of your life!" So let's enjoy it to the fullest and make it the time of our lives! :)

XOXO

Generation

04 January 2014

Hi! ❤ Happy New Year! It was my granny's 74th birthday yesterday! ❤ Let me tell you the story of my popo (granny). She was born on the auspicious date 04.01.1940.  She has been living in the midst of hardship since birth. According to her, her grandmother used to collect the leftovers of people's food on the streets and bring them back for her and her siblings. She has an elder brother and three sisters. Their parents passed away when they were still young; her dad was murdered by the Japanese when they came over to rule Malaya and her mum of a disease and a broken heart. All they were left with were each other and their grandmother. They lived a tough but simple life but they are contented with it and never once complained  :) 

Oops, sorry for the poor quality but I took this with an iPhone and my hands shook :( But look,  popo looks so adorable here! 

During her early 20s, she met the love of her life. Awww. They got married when she's 23. On 2nd January 1964, she gave birth to my uncle! Not long after, she was found out to be pregnant again. Wow, seems like my grandparents are working hard ;) haha. On 25th December, my mummy was born. When my mummy was just a year old baby, my grandpa passed away; leaving my popo and her two children. She moved in to stay with her elder sister, and worked hard to support her family.  Since she wasn't given proper education, she worked as a seamstress, washed dishes, babysat a little girl and the list goes on. She can be considered a fast learner, she cooks the most wonderful and mouth watering dishes by learning them from either the television or hearing bits of the recipe from the people at the market. Just recently, I realized she can even understand English! Oops, no more talking behind her back.

After mummy wedded my dad, my popo stayed with them until now :) She takes care of everything household, kept the house in spick and span condition, and disciplined the children (me, my sister and my brother).  She is such an iron lady, still able to do the household chores and cook meals for us every day! I really look up to her. She has been there for me ever since i was a week old baby, she can also be considered as my babysitter :) My mum as usual, was busy with work, so my popo (granny) volunteered to take care of me! And now it seems like taking care is a lifetime job. She plays an important role in my life. Through her, I learned a lot of things including - to forgive and forget. She visited Japan with me a few years ago, and she doesn't have any hatred towards the people there since her dad was killed during the war.  She said that if we keep things in our hearts for too long, it will just make us tired.

I feel so loved and love is an important thing to keep me going! ❤ Okay, I know I am quite pampered because of this sigh but I would never turn into who I am if not for her.  She loves me immensely and I will definitely miss her as much as she misses me as I depart for college. :'(

Another clearer picture of granny and I. She is getting really grumpy these days but my love for her would still remain the same because I know she has put up with me when I threw tantrums... a lot lol.

Selfie and ootd :)