I know I did not do an update about the reasons behind all the emotional, sad posts on my blog for quite a while. I am going to do one today. I don't know why but I guess right now is a good time to spill some tea on my life. I am going to do it in two parts because it is going to be too long to write in a single blog post. After all, I have so much feels.
Disclaimer: Whatever I am writing below is just what I have experienced and my personal feelings/opinions from it.
So, here we go.
People who know me personally or follow me on social media would know this - I went to Australia to pursue my degree in February 2016. I attended the University of Queensland (UQ) for a Bachelor of Laws (LLB) degree. It was a sponsored programme by the Public Service Department of Malaysia.
I obtained the Financial Affidavit and even signed a contract with the government, which eased my visa applications and health insurance in Australia. Happily and very excitedly, I flew to Australia with the peace of mind that my education fees and living costs are sorted out; without having to burn a hole in my parents' pockets.
I have always wanted to be an independent child. I was extremely proud of myself for being able to score myself a scholarship which means I would not need to spend a single penny of my parents' hard-earned money. However, the happiness was short-lived. Two months after being in Australia - without paying any fees or health insurance of any sort, the university contacted me to inform me that the Public Service Department had denied that I was a sponsored student due to the Cabinet's decision. This does not make any sense at all - I signed a contract with the Department and they should not be able to revoke or terminate the contract so unfairly.
Nonetheless, I attempted to appeal against the decision various times, but they were all ignored. I also tried to source for other forms of scholarship or financial aid, and even asked the Dean of the Law School for advice but I guess universities are just universities. Aside from providing education, they are just money-making machines.
I was very devastated in that period of time because I did not know who to turn to. Every time my friends, be it in Australia or Malaysia asked me why I'd choose to study in Australia, I would proudly declare that I was a sponsored student from Malaysia. Probably because of ego, I could not then run to them and tell them that my own country has let me down. I only had my family in Malaysia to pull me through such a time as they attempted the appeals in Malaysia whilst I had to face the increasing pressure from the university to pay up my fees. I was literally just beginning to adapt in a foreign country; this whole ordeal struck me hard and was a painful process. I questioned my existence and I felt completely lost and alone.
I was encouraged to join this university society by a very close friend of mine - Overseas Christian Fellowship (OCF) and shamelessly, I attended the very last meeting of that semester (since by the time all these events unfolded, it was already Week 12). Through that meeting, I somehow felt really empowered, as if all my prayers were heard. I encountered this warmth in my heart, telling me that things will work out and that I would be okay. It greatly strengthened my faith (I am a Christian, if you don't already know). Through this, I also met heaps of incredible people who were there for me, through such difficult times.
Nonetheless, my parents were very supportive of me and encouraged me to continue with the semester instead of withdrawing. I did. I scored a CGPA of 6.75 that very semester. I returned to Malaysia for winter break for three weeks and due to the short period of time, I had no thoughts of withdrawing at all. I thought that I would probably complete my degree in Australia. Completing second semester was a breeze because then, I had a family away from home who were always there for me. Not many friends knew about the revocation though, just a handful, because I still found it very personal and tough to talk about.
By the time summer break came along (in Aussie, summer is between the months of December to February), I returned to my family in Malaysia once again. I had more time to think about the course of my life during that break and we decided to weigh our options.
I visited several institutions in Malaysia and considered reapplying to study in other countries like the United Kingdom, Singapore and Hong Kong. Singapore and HK only offers 4-year programmes whereas the UK offers 3-years LLB degrees. Considering that I have already wasted a year in Aussie, UK would be the only option, if I were to switch universities. Another plus point would be the fact that the Malaysian Bar Council recognises the UK BPTC Programme. It would be more prestigious and recognised internationally as well if I did a UK degree and the BPTC programme in (4 years) compared to an Aussie degree for 4 years and later, would have to return to Malaysia for my CLP for another year (my logic, you can beg to differ). I was not planning to stay in Australia after completing my degree.
Soon, I realised that BAC in Malaysia does express 2+1 UKT programmes which allows one to transfer to the UK within 1.5 years. With the 2+1 programme, I would also be able to cut down on school fees. If I continued in UQ, it would cost me around AUD 20,000 (MYR60,000) a semester and two semesters per year would cost my parents around MYR120k/year and living costs are not included. In BAC, it would merely cost MYR 20/30k a year so 2 years would be around the cost of a semester in UQ. I still had six semesters to go in UQ.
Thus, I enrolled myself in April 2018 and tentatively, would be able to fly off to the UK in September 2019 and graduate with a LLB by May 2020. Crazy timeline, I know. I was wacko enough to go through the emotional turmoil of doing this programme. Imagine learning an entire year's worth of information within 4-5 months with back-to-back assignments.
It was definitely a tough transition, coming back to Malaysia. Friends in Malaysia kept texting me on why I am still in Malaysia even though university has already commenced while friends in Australia were puzzled with the fact that I was not back for Year 2. Still trying to deal with the truth, I could not find the strength in me to openly talk about it then, unless I was really comfortable around certain people.
Besides, I was really blessed to be able to experience the beautiful campus in UQ. The fact that I had to be stuck in literally just a building in the BAC campus made me miss life in Australia a lot. I kept having these flashbacks of the times when I was enjoying myself in Aussie (i guess i never know how to appreciate things in the present, but i mean, it's only human to do so).
Bringing us back to the now - the only reason I am able to openly address the questions I tried to evade in the past today, is because I can gladly say I have now completed my second year in BAC. I still miss Australia at times: the place, the vibes and the people but hey, I guess my dad was right, I can always go back to visit.
It took me some time, but I think I am kind of over the fact that I am back for good. I am leaving to the UK soon and hopefully, I would drop by with more interesting things and experiences (preferably no more silly, emotional posts) when I am over there.
Guess that's it! If you made it till here, thanks for reading my life story luls
xx
