Where did I go?

So I have returned!  I know, I know it's been more than a year since my last post, this hiatus turned out to be more like a permanent disappearance hahah.  So sorry! :( Well pretty sure no one even comes here anymore, but just in case, if you still do, nice to still see you around :)

Okay so I basically started this blog as a means of honestly expressing how I feel, writing about the things and people I love, or just random crap that comes my way.  However, I don't know when this started but I began stressing out over what I post, which is actually pretty funny because you see, I try to post what I really want to post but then I feel like it is not something people would want to read about, and then I take it down. Sooner or later, I no longer blog, even if I do it's all drafts.

So what was I up to? Well, I graduated A-levels with pretty amazing results which makes me really really happy cause I totally did NOT expect this (miracles do happen HAHA) and now I am just waiting for placements in universities.  While on a break from blogging, I grew and learned a lot as a person. Obviously, coming back, I read through some of my old posts just to get an idea of how I used to do it, and I can't stop myself from laughing at the initial few posts I uploaded. I wanted to remove those, but then, maybe not - because it reminds me of the person I used to be. The happy-go-lucky, the one who gets all hyper for all the wrong reasons.  I miss that girl.

Hm, I wouldn't say I changed a lot, but my perspective on certain things definitely changed (who knew one year could give you this much impact on life) but now, I totally understand why people say, 'that event I attended was an eye-opener'.  I feel things differently now, I learned to let go of things or incidents or even people that don't really matter, that some people are present in certain chapters of your life so you could learn from them. Lessons. E.g.- No matter how much you despise someone, remember - they are there so you could learn and develop as a human being, to be stronger or more patient or just not take the small stuff so seriously.  Personally, I feel all these little things we get from other people, all these lessons or memories, are really what we should cherish because these are the things that molded us into becoming who we are NOW and who we are going to be in the future.

With all that being said, I would like to now start this diary again, to pen in my daily/weekly two cents, inspirations and just random things I want to say.  Honestly, I am anticipating to share this journey with you (but who am I kidding, hm well maybe just the diary cause no one actually reads this... anyway).  so now, let's embark on this chapter of more self-exploring and I can't wait to join and participate in a lot more things to stretch my limits and step out of the comfort zone that I have been enclosing myself in.  Here's to more adventures and silliness!

xoxo

"You won't be able to do it"

"At your age, you won't be able to do it."

Upon hearing that statement, I was shocked. Baffled. Wait a minute, someone who is fourteen could be an adult. An adult is someone who thinks like an adult and perceive themselves as an adult. The 14-year-old might have more experiences than an adult.  Experience comes with memories and events that took place, definitely not age. You could be a 40-year-old and laze around all day at home, eating chips on the couch, and have less experience than a 20-year-old.

At that moment, I was shocked and it really stung right on point. However, there were some kind souls who stood up for me, stopping her from elaborating. If I said I was not insulted, I would be lying but I did not take it too much to the heart. I respected her opinion. Talking back isn't going to be a solution, it would not change her mind. So what is the next best thing to do?

"I had to prove myself through actions!"

So, I took in those words as motivation and it definitely spurred me to greater heights, to do my very very best.  I placed my whole heart into doing the best I can.  I practiced the whole presentation both in my head and aloud just in case I blanked out.

Those words - It served as a driving force, which kept me going.  Many people were really supportive, and they gave me every reason to be fantastic in doing what I do, because they had faith in me. And for that, I am honestly more than thankful.

So how did the presentation go?

It went really smoothly, just how I wanted it to be, of course this would be impossible if my course mates were not cooperative. Oh, and I am really grateful for all the positive feedback I had, it was really invaluable. Two of my friends from the same team stood up for me at the end of the presentation too :') (no, it was not 100% perfect, it still had its flaws, but what is perfection without imperfections)

"Your presentation was really good! Is this the first time you did it? Wow, you are making me stressed out for mine now"

"She's a natural. Please consider training as a career. If you train, I will go to your training"

"I could see that she did not falter at all."

"Looking at your background of being a 19 year old, I must say I am really impressed!"

"One word - Awesome! Now don't ever look down on the younger generations!"

All these thoughts, words and actions meant so so much to me.  It made me feel really good and I was seriously emotionally touched. I never imagined myself being able to fit in with all these people from all walks of life, be it doctors, directors - but they were all simply amazing.

This whole episode is something I really cherish and want to hold on to for the rest of my earthly life. It was not easy to look past the anger and frustration, but I did it, I am actually really happy and grateful that comment was put out - because a large part of my success was basically driven from that statement. So if you are facing the same situation I faced, believe that you CAN too, put in your best effort and you will turn out to be AMAZING! :)

The Avengers
Don't have a picture of the complete Train the Trainer course yet, but for now this will do :)