Tree of dreams

So its the start of the annual year end holidays. Which brings the meaning, my form four life has ended, and i would be moving on to something more serious and important next year, the scary SPM.  So anyway i just watched this inspirational video on YouTube and wish to share it with you guys :) Enjoy.

XOXO

In a state of shock

Okay, when i said i no longer care, that's just to protect myself from getting hurt.  And i finally did it until... ugh, why can't things go as planned?  I just hate to have my plans changed, and now?  It has returned to the initial state which i hope to have erased.  I can't believe what i saw this morning, and it is definitely not my aim to wake up to see such things.

Reality hurts, that's what i hear from plenty of people.  I should have just continued dreaming in dreamland rather than seeing what i saw.  I can't believe i missed out again and now what i see is... ugh i can't even bring myself to say what i saw.

I just don't understand what goes about in your head, i would really like to know though.  This has brought me nowhere and i am still getting frustrated for no reason.  If you were to know, i bet you think i am really crazy like how i really am. :) I may have did certain things wrongly in the past but now, the blame is no longer on me.  I can't believe i am so stupid to ever blame myself for it.

Wake up joyi.  Yes i should.  I used to wonder all sorts of possibilities but now, they are no longer of use.  Its all over, another nightmare of mine is gone, well i hope.  Thoughts and images has been haunting me day and night, night and day.  Just last night, i had the weirdest dream ever.  I can't believe i dreamt of it againnnn.  Please would you stop haunting me and let me sleep and carry out my daily activities in peace.  Maybe what i wish now would make me regret, just please if you do not care, just stop haunting me.

Sometimes, i wonder if i have the so called 'true confidence' when it comes to these type of things, well i don't think so.  Though i have people who care for me more than i ever wanted, and i should feel grateful, i must admit i am just another greedy person. I tend to care for those who cares for me and those who don't, especially those who don't and end up feeling all hurt and well, thats who i am.  I am no different than you.  I am a normal person after all, no superwoman.  Though i am trying really hard to overcome these feelings of mine, there are days like today when i realize the truth once more and over think again.

I should probably stop thinking about it and make people who care get all worried about what happened.  Nothing did :)  That's what happened. Nothing, and here i am getting all tensed up when nothing happened.  How stupid of me. Pfft.  Well, busy day ahead of me, and i hope to get through today with a smile of my face :) and heal as quickly as possible well, i feel so much better blogging all this out.

So, tata.

XOXO

Miss MGS

It has been a year, officially.  2nd November 2011, a memorable day indeed.  Though hectic, it was really exciting and overwhelming.  Running around, changing as fast as possible without a changing room and my assistants, Fungxin and Kamen were so helpful and awesome!  The outfit search, the rehearsals for my performance, the help i got from various people, the support from my friends, ah its all still vivid in my mind.

Let's start from where it all started.  After PMR, my friends and i were given the list of competitions and the highlight of the whole after PMR activities was of course the annual Miss MGS competition.  I like everyone else, anticipated for it and was wondering who'd be chosen to represent my class, 3 Hornbill.

And suddenly i saw my name on the whiteboard, and they all agreed so i joined since it might be fun and i could gain new experience :)  I told my ballet teacher about it and she was so sweet to help me think up a dance for my talent time competition.  She even lent me some accessories to go with my dress.

Next, time for the gown search or dress search.  So, the theme was Glamour and Glitter.  Visited a few boutiques round town and tried several gowns, and finally found one.  Its a purple one, just plain purple.

Finally the day arrived, and i arrived to school late haha.  Was nervous the night before but managed to get a few hours of beauty sleep though :) Went into class and was greeted by my excited friends who made me more nervous haha.  I brought like two huge bags to place my tutu and also my gown and shoes, it was indeed a tough one to carry it into school.

The feeling on stage, and the everlasting cheers from the crowd, especially 3 Hornbill made me feel overwhelmed and forget all my nervousness.  Without them, I would never have made it by myself.  Being crowned and announced as Miss MGS 2011, was more than what i wanted, which was experience.  This whole event changed my point of view on life, and my life even.  I have been yet moulded into a better person.

It has been a year now, and the time of the year arrived just two days ago.  I was invited to crown the new Miss MGS 2012, Melissa Tan.  Witnessing the whole event at the side of the stage brought all the memories back to me.  Time flies.  And now i have learned another value, Cherish time well :)

Thank you jowei for making this vid for me <3

XOXO