always grateful for the people who understand (or tried to understand) where i am coming from, and never seemed to judge.
always grateful for the intellectual, deep conversations that always led to silly banters and near-break down of friendships.
always grateful for the people who stood by me through the highs and the lows.
always grateful for those who gave me that extra boost of courage and strength when i needed it most.
raw feels:
i don't know when or how it started but slowly these people drifted away.
the not-knowing why kills me.
it freaking hurts when these people decide that they are not going to be there for you forever, when they decide that it's time to go.
i mean, i totally understand how it works by now but it still hurts.
i try to take it like it's no big deal because being strong is good but this pretence is tiring me out.
it hurts.
it is a big deal.
knowing your best friend is no longer your best friend,
knowing the person who you could run to at all hours of the day is no longer there for you.
sometimes, i feel like i have split personalities - one that is asking me to stop whining and let it go, and the other is like 'just feel all the feels'.
i prefer the former, but the latter seems to be more dominant.
this too will pass (i hope)
nonetheless, i am still happy we crossed paths.
xx
