Moving Day

The view from my new place.

A new chapter begins.

Correction: Technically, I am still writing in this chapter I was/am in but probably this is just a second part to it.

Choices and change. Many people fear change. I know I do. I am not exactly a huge fan of 'oh, life is a huge box of mystery. let's just jump at it!' But with change, comes growth.

We make choices. Should I remain in a place of comfort or should I brave myself and accept this change and while doing that, stretch myself and grow? It's really easy to say 'Stretch. Grow. Embrace change.' and bla. But actually doing it, it's a whole other story.

See. I am a really fickle person, probably the most fickle person you could meet. On one hand, I tend to shy away from things I do not know or I am unsure of (e.g.: the future) so way more times than not, I find myself wallowing in my comfort zone just because I freaking love that space. On the other hand, I yearn for growth too because I'l eventually loathe myself for being stagnant for too long (when I mean stagnant, I mean just doing the routine stuff) so at times like these, you could see me making drastic (some) decisions that I might or might not regret in the future.

I have no idea if this choice was right but I guess the only way to find out is by experiencing it.

I miss the Brissie life more than ever now and it's definitely going to be a whole of difference but I know I'l survive and one day, I guess I'l be ready to talk about it.

x

So, today, I am officially moving into this new place. It's been so hectic, we literally just started packing yesterday (obviously not a fan). My sister is moving in with me! Yay! My previous history with strangers wasn't really a success story so I am really really blessed I finally have someone who knows me in and out be my housemate!

Also, I am not happy that most of my apartment stuff are left in Brissie because things got busy back home and I couldn't really find time to get my stuff. So, I'l have to wait till the next break to head there and collect what I left (nice job, joyi). Oh and fyi, I left a hell lot of stuff there (I think six boxes or so.... z).

xx

Attached.

I can't get over this feeling. It haunts me every other night. I got too attached, I took things for granted. I figured I had more time - time to do all the things I promised myself to do before bidding farewell. These fleeting images keep popping into mind whenever I close my eyes (to try) to sleep. I distract myself with all sorts of things in the day but when night falls, nostalgic thoughts run across my mind like they are on steroids.
It still feels very surreal that my path has changed once again; maybe this is what was in store for me this whole time, maybe this is the better choice (or not). Making decisions have never been my forte - logic over emotions, brain over heart. Emotional or impulse decisions aren't the way to go, they say. I sometimes wish I had the courage to do the opposite of what my nudging conscience tells me to.

Tonight is one of those nights - nights when I tremendously miss and long for a feeling. A feeling that only exists in that place. It was in that place that I discovered my new found love for soup - all kinds of soup. I loved that warm and fuzzy feeling it creates that felt like home. I didn't know what it was at that time, but I fell in love - with the place, the people, the city lights, the skies, the ferry rides and the evening strolls along the river. I felt free, blessed, occasionally small and stressed and yet I was granted this peace I have never felt so strongly before.
As much as I'd like to cling onto this feeling, I am well aware that I shouldn't borrow time from the future to pay for my past.

It's time to move on to the next chapter of life but I will always hold dear to heart the memories I created in that place - a place I call my temporary home, always and forever.